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Chapter For SEARCHERS by Pepper St. Claire
Katie begged her husband, “Please,
let’s go to the party for just a little while. Mom has Brandon,
so we don’t even have to get a babysitter.”
Rick was stretched out on the couch with his hands folded
behind his head. “I don’t want to go. I just want to relax
at home.”
“That’s all we ever do,” she pointed
out.
“I work hard all week. Being a cop ain’t easy.”
“What do you think I do around here?” Her
blood pressure climbed. “ We never go anywhere anymore. Do you have
any idea what it’s like to have no one else to talk to all day,
except a three-year-old? Honestly, why won’t you take me to the
party?”
He glared at her. “Go take a long look at yourself
in the mirror and then ask me that?”
He may as well have stabbed her in the heart. Her breath
wouldn’t come. She wanted to run away from him and his cruelty.
Opening the front door, she dashed out into the cold rain. Wearing only
a nightgown, she hoped, no prayed, he would follow to apologize. He didn’t.
The driving November rain quickly drenched her thin layer
of clothing as she sat on the curb. She turned her face toward the darkened
sky as if questioning her higher power. What had she done to deserve this?
The rain, running in rivulets down her face, co-mingled with her tears
and slipped between her quivering lips. A slight, salty taste lingered
in her mouth as she shuddered from the cold and wondered what to do. Chilled
to the bone, she had nowhere to go but home, so reluctantly, she trudged
toward her house. When she opened the front door, the room was dark. He
had gone to bed.
Katie hurried to the bathroom, trying not to leave a water
trail. Quickly, she changed her nightgown and towel-dried her hair. She
pondered sleeping on the sofa. Why should I be uncomfortable? I won’t
give him the satisfaction.
She tiptoed into the bedroom and climbed into their king-sized
bed. Not wanting him to touch her, she stayed well to her side of the
mattress. She couldn’t believe the nerve when he rolled over.
“Wanna do it?”
She recalled her thoughts at that moment. How dare he?
First, he wounds me and now he wants to fuck me. I think not. She didn’t
respond. Instead, she took her pillow and, slamming the door behind her,
left the room.
* * * *
Rick had left for work and Brandon was at his playgroup.
Katie went through her regular cleaning routine, remembering how awful
last night had been. What happened to her and Rick? They seldom spoke
anymore—she was far too afraid of his insulting barbs. He acted
as though she wanted to gain the weight, and found every opportunity to
remind her that he no longer found her sexy.
She paused dusting the entertainment center for a moment,
remembering how awful last night had been. There had to be something she
could do to recapture what she and Rick used to have. Before Brandon’s
birth, Rick acted as though the sun rose and set on her. Now, she was
just an object of his sexual release. There was no caressing, no passionate
kissing–just sex. What woman enjoyed the “wham, bam, thank
you, mam” kind of sex?
Nothing had worked to help Katie lose the weight. She’d
tried it all, and now she felt desperate. An idea crossed her mind. Do
I dare spend the money? She nervously chewed her fingernail and pondered
her dilemma.
She tossed the dust cloth aside and marched to the kitchen,
opened a drawer and pulled out the Yellow Pages. Katie fanned the pages
to find the “W,” and scanned the section looking for what
she needed. Weight Loss Clinics... hmmm! She ran a slender finger down
the page and made her selection.
Before she could change her mind, she picked up the phone
and dialed the number. An impulse to hang up gripped her, but she stood
firm. No...you’re going to do this, Katie.
“Hello. Yes, this is Katie Franklin and I’d
like to make an appointment.”
* * * *
Katie heard Rick’s car in the driveway. She had
fought with herself all day long whether or not to tell him about her
decision, but opted not to. Most likely he would complain about the money
and belittle her further for not having enough self-control to lose weight
on her own. Could she scrimp and save enough money from her household
account? Even if he found out, the results were bound to please him.
While Brandon played in his room, Katie combed her hair
and put on her makeup just as she did every day. Being heavy didn’t
mean she didn’t take pride in her appearance. There was always that
fading hope that Rick would notice and say something encouraging. Although
still angry from last night, Katie didn’t like to hold grudges.
It made things too awkward for her son.
The front door opened and Rick walked in. He threw his
jacket on the chair and, acting like nothing had happened, quizzed her.
“Hi. Is dinner ready yet? I’m starving.”
No “Hi, honey, how was your day?” Just his
usual greeting, but Katie was determined to set a better mood for dinner.
She bit the inside of her mouth and forced herself to be cheerful. “It’s
just about ready. Did you have a good day?”
“Same old shit. Just a different day,” he
complained without even making eye contact.
Brandon came running down the hallway. “Daddy, Daddy,”
he yelled as he leaped into his father’s arms and circled his neck
with his chubby little arms.
Rick tossed Brandon into the air and caught him. The exciting
squeals from their three-year-old warmed Katie’s heart. She could
see Rick’s love for his son shining in his eyes, and her heart ached.
If only he could look at me like that again.
Setting Brandon on the ground, Rick turned and glanced
at Katie. “Don’t just stand there, Tubby. I’m hungry.
Let’s eat.”
There it was again, the same stabbing ache to the heart.
Tubby! Not for long, Rick...not for long.
Reviews For
SEARCHERS by Pepper St. Claire
"This was so sweet and sexy and filled with questions
a lot of women find themselves asking. I adored Katie and her strength,
her courage and the fight in her. Searchers is such a true story. I felt
pulled inside of Katie so many times. It's a must read and a page-turner.
Excellent job." Reviewed by: Ruby
"Searchers is a contemporary tale that comprises
a tableau of three individuals whose lives are touched and forever changed
through one significant act when least expected. It also empowered Katie
and made her realize the significance in following your heart. I had the
pleasure of reading this ARC and found that overall it was an enjoyable
read, though with some flaws that were jarring. However, for me, there
are too many inconsistent threads in Searchers that withhold it from being
an outstanding read. Katie’s initial indecisiveness about her relationship
with her husband, her irresponsibility, and the lack of depth of passion
with Joey, made much of the story just irritating. Her one atonement was
in her willingness to sacrifice her happiness with Joey for her son and
to make her marriage work to that end. All in all this short story concludes
in a happy ever after." Aggie Tsirikas, Just Erotic Romance Reviews
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