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THE TRUE STORY
OF THE WICKED WITCH by Regan Taylor
You know that old story of Hansel and Gretel? That fairy
tale that they tell unsuspecting little children? How the pair stumble
on the “wicked witch’s” house, and how she acted nice
and then prepared to eat them? Well, that isn’t exactly what happened
“Well, here we are,” tall, dark and darn good-looking Derek Williams announced, as he stopped his blue Toyota Camry in front of the address his girlfriend, Deena Carlton, had given him. Even out of uniform, there was something “man-in-uniform” sexy about him. Maybe it was those dark brown eyes of his. Or maybe it was the five o’clock shadow. Then again, it could be the broad, muscular chest…coupled with those grab-on-tight-and-hold hips of his.
When Deena told him she suddenly wasn’t so sure about going into the writers’ group, he wasn’t all that surprised. That was a totally Deena thing to do. Talk a big line about something and then no delivery. He imagined she thought she sounded so coy, so sexy by seeming to hesitate over her words in that irritating voice of hers. He knew she thought her voice was just the be all and end all of seductiveness because she told him often enough. While it drove him nuts when she went over the air dispatching the officers to their calls in that high-pitched squeaky squeal, she often told him that she knew it made the other officers—the male ones, that is—hard just to hear her speak. Until he got what he wanted from her, he wasn’t going to disabuse her of that notion. Although, he mused to himself, when it came to reality checks about her own charms, she was on another planet.
“Deena, you said you wanted to get involved with a writing group and this is the only one in the area. Why not at least check it out?”
“I guess, but, Derek, she already has issues with me.”
He winced at both the grating whine she spoke in and her unshakable belief that every other woman felt like doo doo around her. In truth, there was nothing sexy or sensuous about badge bunny Deena.
Okay, here we go. Just about every one knew Deena believed every man who met her wanted to protect and rescue her. Oh yeah, and have sex with her. He knew she thought she had her game down, and that he would soon be at her feet with his superhero’s cape on. “Now how do you know that?”
“Well first, when I called her, she didn’t have any idea what an e-book was. Then she said she only did inspirational books and I know, I just know, inspirational is a euphemism for Christian, which totally isn’t my thing. And then, then, she said that erotica is the same thing as porn. That’s three strikes against me.”
Sighing, Derek pondered how best to get her to just go try out the group. He’d been dating Deena for about four months and his buddies at the police station had all told him how great she was in bed. Deena. Otherwise known as “do-me Deena” by the guys—a euphemism for the badge bunny everyone knew she was. Rumor had it she’d done just about every male officer in the department. Yes, she was the classic badge bunny who would do anything for any man in uniform. Not that he found her particularly attractive. Yeah, the blond hair was nice, but if she stood sideways and stuck out her tongue she’d look like a zipper. But an easy lay was an easy lay and besides… Shoot, he’d even heard she’d go on ride-alongs and give the hottest blowjobs imaginable while an officer drove to a call. The most he’d ever gotten was a sisterly kiss at the door. He didn’t see a future with her; Derek just didn’t want to be the only guy in the station she hadn’t put out for.
Oh yeah, and the books she wrote, or said she did. Secretly, he suspected she snagged the ones a coworker wrote under a pen name and pretended they were hers. He’d seen those eroticas, as she called them, and they were hot, real hot. Someone who wrote stuff like that wouldn’t be half as cold as Deena. Something wasn’t right here and, as a police officer, it was up to him to investigate. After all, if she was stealing someone else’s work, that was a crime and he’d need to do something about it. What exactly he’d need to do he wasn’t sure, but figured he’d know when the time came.
Derek thought back on how Deena had gone on and on, probably trying to look smart, creative, and talented. He suspected she’d overheard him talking to Jess, the one who actually did write, about one of her books, and somehow Deena latched onto the idea she was writing a book or two, or ten, and Derek guessed she’d figured it would impress him. He wasn’t really all that mean-spirited. Granted, he wanted to get laid, but being a cop and all, he also really did want to help people and if going to a writers’ group would give Deena some ideas, well then he’d be helping her. Maybe she could get some original ideas from talking to a real author.
Turning his attention back to the woman in his car, in his best negotiator’s voice, Derek asked her, “Deena, give it a try. What do you have to lose?”
Before she could answer him, the front door to the cheery little house opened, revealing a woman who appeared to be about forty-five with long black hair, a bit on the fleshy side, with a pair of breasts a blind man couldn’t miss. There was something very hot about the woman at the door. Something, besides Derek’s cock, was definitely up here, and it was his job to find out what.
As he moved to climb out of the car, he told Deena, “Come on, she’s seen us, so we can’t leave, and I’ll tell you what, I’ll come in with you just this once. Let’s check it out.”
“Fine.” Deena might not have been the sharpest knife in the drawer but she knew her reputation, and the truth was she really hated sex. She’d wanted to be a cop’s wife and for years, she thought the way to get one to marry her was to sleep with any male officer who asked. One of them was bound to fall in love with her because of her body and great sex. Then, in the locker-room one day, she heard a few of the other women talking about men not buying the cow when they could have the milk for free, so with Derek, she tried a different tactic—she played the virgin, or at least the innocent, and wouldn’t sleep with him ’til they got married. Since she didn’t like sex and only gave what she thought men wanted, she figured once they were married and the consummation part was over with, she’d push Derek off on another badge bunny while she held the glory of being a cop’s wife.
That was why she said she wrote erotica—to entice the male officers, especially Derek, into thinking she was really hot and desirable. Not that she ever picked up a pen or used the keyboard for anything other than sending emails to friends and entering dispatch data into the CAD at work.
As she exited the car to join him, Derek took a closer look at the house. Maybe Deena was right about this one. Then again, maybe not. If the woman who lived there wrote inspirational books, what better place to do it than a storybook cottage? Funny, it looks exactly like the kind of house he’d see in a movie about Hansel and Gretel. Chuckling to himself about the fairytale, he admonished, “Deena, no eating the house, remember Hansel and Gretel.”
“Yeah, but my name is Deena and yours is Derek, and what kind of a nutball lives in a house that looks like gingerbread?”
“Yeah.” Geesh, she even gets touchy about fictional characters. Criminy. “Deena, check out the house—it looks pretty different, but kinda cool, and check out the windows. They look like sheets of sugar candy with candy cane shutters and cookies for handles and latches. It really does look like you could eat it!”
The self-absorbed Deena stopped and took in the house, and surprised him when she exclaimed, “Oh my god, Derek, you’re right! It does look like it’s made of candy and cookies. I suppose she doesn’t look like the mean and ugly old witch, so I guess it’ll be okay.” Seeing the possible challenge presented by another woman, Deena took his arm in what could only be a possessive embrace, with it brought flush against her flat chest. “Especially since you’ll be here with me.”
Derek did his best to hide his grimace as they approached the woman at the door.
“Hello, hello,” the dark-haired woman greeted them, her warm smile encompassing the couple. “I’m Molly, welcome to my writers’ group. Come in, come in!”
Molly appraised the couple as they entered. The male will do fine…yes, indeed, he will do just fine, tall, dark, handsome with a body that…oh my, oh my, oh my…that body! The woman, well…stupid is as stupid does and the woman looks just that.
When I begin reading this book, I was prepared for a story with a unique, adult twist to a classic fairytale. The book delivered that. I didn’t expect, however, that the fairytale would only be a portion of the book. So I was pleasantly surprised to discover that this story is about more than just Hansel and Gretel.
This is a quick, fun read that will definitely raise the temperature in the room a few degrees.
Rating: 3 half moons by Susan at Rites of Romance Reviews
Ms. Taylor’s twist on the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel is an absolutely fabulous romp of a tale that is hilarious and deliciously sexy. This imaginative retelling of the story from the viewpoint of the witch will set the world of fairy tales on its ear for years to come. This reviewer would love to see Ms. Taylor continue to rewrite other tales featuring witches as well, especially since several were mentioned in this story. Deena is a funny exaggeration of the office “sex bunny” we have all experienced at some point in life and her desire for a husband would be pathetic in the hands of a less deft author. Ms. Taylor’s inclusion of her real life cat as a main character was clever and amusing as well. ....Ms. Taylor has a winner on her hand with her first offering, and this review looks forward to reading many more in the future. Highly recommended! 5 Hearts from Leah from Love Romances and More
As an avid reader, I have come across favorite characters before and have to say Regan Taylor knows how to change a childhood fairytale in an erotica manner that sparks your imagination from the first page. We all know the story of Hansel and Gretel but it takes a devious and smart author like Regan Taylor to shows us readers their true colors outside the story. I liked the fact that you have Hansel and Gretel plus other characters that try to understand their story within the context of their lives. Another thing that interested me about this book was to find out how Regan Taylor could pull this is off. I just have to say she did it brilliantly. I would never have imagined the idea behind the story, this is truly a great story to read on a cold night or any night just for the fun of it.
Reviewed by: Lena C.
I loved this book, it raises the heat, all without using the oven, and leaves the reader thinking, well maybe it did happen like that? Regan Taylor has written a tale that twists not only the view but also leaves the reader reaching for something to cool down with. Fairy tales are for children but this version is strictly for adults as it makes the imagination work overtime. I loved most of the characters in this book, especially the cat, Melvin. I wouldn't mind a cat like him in my life. Twisted? Certainly. Entertaining? You bet and if you love your fairy tales twisted for adult perusal then this book is a must have, you won’t be disappointed at all.
by Sheryl at Sensual Ecata
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